Now to a classic example of the problem with the culture differences. Yesterday I had called a meeting of medium importance, a calling of arms to brainstorm about a software project that effects many parties. As such the elder engineers and stakeholding managers were invited and in attendance.

A few people didn’t show to the meeting, I went on without them assuming nothing. The meeting ended with great results and I went back to my desk and began writing up the post-mortem notes of the meeting for distribution, with the intention of circling back with the missing people to see if they had anything they wanted to add.

In the middle of this process (about an hour and a half after the meeting began) one of the MIA engineers came to my desk. I summarise the exchange:

kgb: did you have the meeting?
mj: sure did!
kgb: where did you have the meeting?
mj: in the conference room
kgb: oh
*kgb begins to walk away*
mj: I am in the middle of writing up the notes from the meeting, when I am done I will drop by your office and we will go over it together
kgb: don’t bother – if you didn’t need me in the meeting you won’t need me now

So let me stress that I was 100% polite, seriously. I was totally blown away at the out-there rudeness from this guy who hardly knows me.

My blood began to boil. I went to get a cup of coffee and was plotting my revenge. I had concluded that any sort of resentment would only cause me more harm than him. He had already built himself an ivory tower with others, me the latest victim. I concluded that I was required to swallow my pride in order to get the job done.

Furthermore, he could never know that I secretly wanted a meteor to fall on his face – less he becomes even more difficult to worth with.

In thinking about this, I realized that this is the life of the middle manager. Putting up with people’s BS to get the job done. It also occurred to me that it is likely that none of my bosses liked me very much, but knew that it was required to indulge my ego, and my “bull in a china shop” approach to solving problems in order to get the job done. And, in the end – they would hire me all over again.

The moral I extracted from this stretched story is that an ego-less attitude (which I have taken on, in earnest at my new job) has significantly more advantages. Avoiding building yourself an ivory tower. Secondly, I should care less. I had discussed earlier that passion had gone from my life – and it seems like a good thing, especially at work. This way you can plod along at a regular sort of pace without encountering an immense amount of frustration and disappointment.

I will have the vanilla, thanks.