Anyways, I went down the the Carmax dealership that had this particular car to go for a test drive. Lucily for me, the person I was set up with was under the impression that this was  “5 Series BMW”. A few days earlier I had test drove a brand new 2010 M5 at a proper BMW dealership and they neutered the car with only 400hp. I had no problems putting the car into sport mode and then use all 500 hp.

Now after I explained to the sales woman that I was going to drive this car aggressively and that if she had any issue with this that she could politely ask me to slow down, she agreed and I nailed it and left 2 black stripes 1st gear long.

It was a good test drive, only there was a problem. You see, I have had this image in my head of the M5 – an piece of insanity wrapped into two pieces of bread. I imagined that flooring the throttle of the 500hp would feel like setting off a bomb and riding a wave of noise into the sunset while trying to escape an army of banshees screaming at you full tilt. It was, but it felt like I was sitting in a holodeck instead of actually racing up Dante’s Peak.

If I can liken a car to a woman; the Z4M is a hot, awesome, nice woman that used to be insane but through years of therapy has come out on the other side for the better. Even though, you are never really going to relax knowing that there is only years of training between you and certain death. And as soon as you say the wrong thing, poof – you have climbed a tree in your little hottie and filling out an insurance form.

These imperfections give the car character – it’s the make-out session at a dive bar once a year, the last minute trip Burma for no reason, and the surprise lingerie sleepover party with all of her friends.

The M5 is perfect, it is so fast, and so capable and so wonderful that it a monumental achievement of everything human ingenuity can accomplish. The most amazing thing is that it is fast, sporty, precise AND it is a giant comfortable luxury car. So for the sake of argument, this is a car shows up with all of the same ingredients as the Z4M. She is gorgeous, awesome, nice, and great fun but unlike the Z4 – she is well adjusted, has a good family and went to finishing school. Oh sure, the M5 will play the insane game and go sideways and leave great big clouds of smoke all day long just like the Z4M, but you can tell that she thinks that it is all a bit juvenile. However, because she loves you she will go with you to Pamplona and run with you, and would never mention that she thinks that you are an idiot. That is your M5. It is a better car than the Z4M in every way, it just isn’t as much fun somehow. I was let down, not by the end result capabilities – but how it was delivered.

You might think that all of that excitement I describe with the Z4M  is something you really want a lot of, and you think that you would want to buy an old Countash, and that would fit the bill perfectly. Wrong, the older Lamborghini’s are the supermodels – all style whilst sacrificing everywhere else. I was recently driving through Palm Springs, and I saw a purple Lamborghini Diablo SV pulling left out into a 4 lane road it was gorgeous and sounded great. As he got into the middle merge lane he had to stick his head out of the sunroof to turn around and make sure he wasn’t going to crash into an oncoming SUV. I am not joking, as soon as he asked for the smallest concession she just folded her arms and made him stick his head out of the sunroof. I couldn’t deal with that sort of high maintenance. I don’t care how good she is in the sack, it is just not worth that sort of leg work to get to the grocery store.

Ultimately, I will have an M5 in my life. I logically know that there is no topping it in any possible way. But I have still never been to Burma.

Someone said to me this weekend “wow Mike, you are taking this all in stride!”. It hadn’t even occurred to me that what happened was anything to stress about. Fact of the matter is that my life is 100% stress free. Possibly by force and possibly due to the horrendously stressful circumstances of the past year.

In the end, over the past few months my life has been calm. My cares of the world have become less and less significant. Life happens. Who cares if it does? There is no avoiding it, and especially there is no need in stressing about it.

Truth of the matter is this: I have a great life, I am healthy(ish), have great people who love me and show it. Just this weekend I got a surprise visit from an old friend who wanted nothing other than to hang out with me for a few hours while I was in town. She went out of her way to figure out my schedule without me knowing and then ambushed me when I least expected it. I didn’t think about it at the time, but that is pretty friggin special!

Yesterday I drove home content after a holiday with family and friends. Shortly after leaving, I decided that the freeways were no fun and weaved my way all the up the coast on the city streets. Life is way too short to rush through it with such recklessness, stopping to smell the roses is something we should all do more often. I did, 3 times on the way home. Making excuses stopping and getting a fresh cup of piping coffee on the way home and dottling around sleepy coastal towns on the Pacific.